We in this series of articles will try to do the grunt work of "surviving it".We hope to be able to help you survive in a way that leaves your stomachs full and your dignity intact. We won't waste your time with long winded theories, just the facts about how you can save money, put more food on the table for your family, pay the rent and maybe go out once in a while. That is all we will attempt to do , we invite your comments and we will add our e-mail address later for your ideas and suggestions, so hang in there America. This weeks top survival tips:
Misplacing a child can save you plenty!
How many times have you said to yourself "Gee, I wish there weren't so many mouths to feed". Well try this (Leave your child in a rich persons yard for the day, they will feed him and take care of them until you return) or if you do not want to risk child neglect charges, leave one or two of the gravy lickers with friends for a few days, just tell the friend you will return that night and then call and say you had car trouble and won't be back till the next day. Before they get wise to you, they will fed them for two days, you will have saved a bundle and the bonus "no child abandonment charges".
Begging can bring in a bundle!
I know what you are saying "Robert, how can lowering my self to begging in the streets preserve my dignity as you promised earlier", The answer "I lied" my first promise is to HELP YOU THROUGH this thing so pay attention. NOW, where were we? Oh yeah, right, BEGGING, can be quite dignified if you do it right, example: I once observed over a period of a few weeks three different men working both sides of an interstate of ramp. From my hotel window I watched with my binoculars as the cars drivers one by one deposited money in hands, when ever I saw green I counted it as one dollar only, when just change it was counted as 50 cents. By my crude calculations they made from $211 to 330 per day. I was curious to see what method of transportation the top money maker used to get to work and was shocked to see him emerge from the bathroom of a restaurant next door in casual wear ( at the exit he wore stained pants and rumple shirt) he continued on to a nearby grocery store parking lot where he took out his keys and climbed into a very nice BMW, How is that for preserving ones dignity!?!
Pawn(lend) your pets? For a no work, no guilt stream of income.
Now you are thinking " that's it, he's lost it, I barely followed him with the other stuff but this is outrageous. Well listen up Mr. smarty:
Some people need pets from time to time on a part time basis, things like photo shoots for advertisements, hospitals and elderly centers use them to brighten patients days and bring down blood pressure etc. During this time they are fed and taken care of in many ways until their safe return and sometimes you get paid to lend them.
Turn to petty crime.
O.k. you're right I have lost it, It maybe those whiskey sours I slammed about an hour ago were a bad idea for a breakfast appetizer but you must admit that committing a crime like vagrancy doesn't hurt anyone and you do get three squares and a bed, plus being homeless is where we are headed any way, why not get a head start! I don't know about you but I got my park bench all picked out.
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